you know what the scariest thing about this is?
its the constant lies you feed yourself. you tell yourself that it will be fine.
when you faint or almost pass out- its fine
after youve puked to the point where everything is swimming and you feel as though youve been shot in the head- its fine
when you catch yourself pinching at the fat, staring at yourself in the mirror for minutes on end- its fine
it gets to the point where the number keeps dropping and your body looks to have been growing larger and larger. everytime you stand in the mirror you see a different person, and still you dont question it.
for some reason, you still believe that one day it will fine. you believe that one day youll look in the mirror and you will love what you see.
but deep down you know thats a lie you keep telling yourself. you know that day wont come and you keep on falling and falling down that rabbit hole.
and the worst part? you still say no, you still shove thay finger down your throat, and you still swallow that pill.
